Ways to Move Forwards When Life Throws You a Curve Ball

The biggest curve ball we can all relate to this decade is the Covid Pandemic. Whatever your experience was, the chances are you still hold onto something from that time. It impacted the World in some positive ways - appreciation for wild life on our doorstep as deer walked the deserted streets of London, better fitness for those that could walk more, improved work-life balance as working from home became possible, and creative ways to connect with family online with quizzes, dancing and weekly zoom chats. The negative impact is widely known, devastating and needs no reminders.

Every experience in our own lives affects us. We can choose whether to learn from it and move forwards or hold onto it, and remain stuck. I heard a story today that kick-started the topic for this Blog. A cafe locally that I enjoy visiting for its eclectic decor and food was started as a consequence of Covid. A grand daughter was inspired to do it in honour of her Grandma. What did she have to lose? She was already a mother of 7, knew how to cook quick meals for hungry people and so she did it.

I wonder how many stories you can tell of ways you've moved forwards when that curve ball hit you.

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Curve Balls or Setbacks

Everyone deals with these differently. While some seemingly sail through life's challenges, others can be deeply affected -both emotionally and physically.

Here are some curve balls:

Loss

Divorce

Illness

Disease

Accident

Injury

Failing exams

Debt

Sometimes the repercussions of these setbacks can appear later in life, several years after the experience while for others it is instantaneous. A setback generally causes us stress.

The Physiology Behind Prolonged Stress

Stress is a part of life. Deadlines, catching a flight on time, or meeting someone for the first time are all natural stressors or healthy stress. Adrenaline kicks in for a short space of time until the event has happened and you can go back to a more relaxed state.

Chronic stress is a different story. This is when the stress does not go away but remains for a prolonged period of time. It could be a chronic illness or the loss of someone you loved dearly. Even if you feel you handle stress well, the body sees stress as a threat. This is because the brain is hard-wired to perceive these threats and act accordingly.

Natural Stress response:

The hypothalamus - tiny area at the brain's base sets off an alarm system in the body when it perceives a threat

Adrenal Glands on top of the kidneys release a surge of hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol

Adrenaline makes the heart beat faster, increase BP and gives you more energy

Cortisol increases glucose (sugar) into the blood. It helps the brain use glucose more effectively and helps repair tissues. Cortisol also slows body functions that are not needed or harmful in a fight-or-flight situation. It changes immune system responses and makes it harder for the digestive system, the reproductive system and growth processes to work. This complex natural alarm system also communicates with the brain regions that control mood, motivation and fear.

In normal situations, after the stressor has passed, the body returns to its normal functioning. As adrenaline and cortisol levels drop, your heart rate and blood pressure return to typical levels.

Physical Repercussions of Chronic Stress

When the stress response system is active for too long, it can give you too much exposure to cortisol and other stress hormones. That can disrupt almost all the body's processes and can put you at higher risk of many health conditions.

Physical problems:

Digestive problems

Muscle tension and pain

Headaches

Sleep issues

Weight gain

Symptoms of menstruation & menopause get worse

Heart disease

Stroke

High BP

Mental Health Repercussions of Chronic Stress

It is not only the physical body that is affected by long-term stress.

Mental Health issues:

Anxiety: Frequent worry can cause many of the same health issues as stress.

Depression: Long-term stress can lead to feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.

Issues with memory and focus: High levels of the stress hormone cortisol can make it hard to focus and remember things. This can make it harder to think.

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5 Ways to Manage Life's Curve Balls

Stressful or challenging events are facts of life. And you may not be able to change your current situation. But these steps may help you manage the impact that stressful events have on you.

1. Find Your Unique Gift: this doesn't just fall into your lap! You have to seek it out by trying different things. It'll be something that you enjoy doing, you're good at it and you feel exhilerated when you do it. It may be a job or if you're retired an activity that's part of your week.

2. Let Go of Grudges: You might have had a difficult relationship with a loved on, been let down by a friend or resented your job but didn't leave it. If you hold onto a wound for long enough, you stagnate emotionally and become depleted of energy. By letting go, being curious and receptive you'll welcome new opportunitues and feel free.

3. Everything is a lesson: If you can live through the issues that you have been faced with, they become one of your greatest teachers. As hard as it may be, slow down and sit with what happened because there is a lesson there. Try to be in charge of your own wellbeing and don't bypass the pain.

4. Build a Community: You are never alone. Create a meaningful community around you where all relationships are based on a genuine connection. Human beings are not meant to be isolated islands. You may need to be vulnerable, present and allow others to be present with you.

5. Love is Medicine: Love yourself and others, even when you feel unlovable.

To Summarise

Our life experiences shape us. When we experience loss, divorce, debt or illness the chances are it leaves a lasting impact. Some of us may sail through chronic stress, but most of us will be affected physically and/or mentally. By choosing to be the shepherd of your wellbeing, you can find ways to manage these setbacks in life in a different way. By embracing your gifts, creating a meaningful community and allowing love in, you can build a stronger and more resilient life.

Community has always been at the heart of my pilates classes with monthly coffee catch ups after class on Tuesdays and weekly on Fridays. Feel free to join my next courses starting towards the end of September online or in-person here.