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Loss of a relationship

Updated: Nov 9, 2022

The loss of a relationship is generally the most profound loss experienced, and is the kind of loss felt by most human beings. The loss of a relationship covers a variety of situations, such as estrangement amongst family members or friends, the break-up of a partnership, a missing pet, or a bereavement of either person or animal. A person experiencing the loss of any such relationship predictably is faced with feelings of grief, the intensity of which usually being related to the strength of the relationship that has been lost.



Drawing by Charlie Mackesy from http://www.facebook.com/Charliemackesyart


Grief is a topic that has been well researched and discussed so I will only present a summary here. The Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross proposed that there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The experience of these stages is not linear, nor is every stage experienced. Depending on the individual and the circumstances, these stages of grief or only a portion of them, may be experienced in any order and each for any length of time.


The stages of grief are merely a structured way of trying to understand the nature of grief. Within each of these stages a range of different emotions is likely to be felt. In reality, an individual could feel a mix of different emotions typical of one or more stages at any one time. For example: with the loss of a relationship through bereavement, shock and disbelief could be felt in association with denial; anger and bargaining might be tinged with feelings of guilt; while depression generally encompasses emotional pain and sadness, reflectiveness, as well as loneliness and feelings of persistent low mood. When journeying through grief, acceptance presents a stage where pain has eased and a new belief in a positive future can be felt. The intensity of grief experienced at the loss of a loved one can affect a person’s mental and physical well-being.


In the case of bereavement, seeking help from a grief counsellor would provide a way forward. Whatever other relationship loss is experienced, it is important to talk about this relationship and the feelings of loss experienced, preferably to a person or support group able to understand this loss. Expressing these feelings will have an important cathartic emotional effect which will ultimately have a positive effect on well-being.


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